(Not) Taking It All In

Publish date: Jun 25, 2019

On one call to my grandma, she asked me “Do you ever just take it in?” I replied “Not usually.” She said she doesn’t either. Most days I just try to get the miles over with. I’ll hike anxiously towards camp to beat sunset, or to get a spot in a shelter on a rainy day, or to not fall behind my group. I’ll reframe it as “I’m gonna go knock out this hill,” or “let’s crush some miles.” Yesterday, I tried consciously to slow down and enjoy myself. It was fun for a couple of hours, but then the forest got darker and I sped up. I know this anxiety is pointless. Every time I get in late or I have to face a fear, I find that I had nothing to worry about in the first place. I’m transitioning from the physical to the mental phase of this hike, and I’ll need to get more easygoing if I’m going to beat it. It ain’t about how fast I get there.

It aint about what’s waiting on the other side.